


You're Insufferable and You're Hot

by ClassyclockworkCosplay



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Feeding on Animals, Frenemies, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Kissing, Kissing in the Park, Kissing in the woods, M/M, Pop Rocks, Vampires, they really just kiss and yearn a bunch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23425405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyclockworkCosplay/pseuds/ClassyclockworkCosplay
Summary: Simon invites Baz to join him on a shopping day on the first day of spring break: turns out to be a ploy for Baz to kiss him.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Kudos: 17





	You're Insufferable and You're Hot

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for Simon and Baz being not as cannon feeling as I would have liked, this is my first time writing these boys!

Baz sat at his desk, he couldn’t bear it anymore, he thought, living in this wretched room with the most sickeningly handsome boy he’s ever seen. How dare Simon snow, the nicest, most annoying person he's ever met be the one he has a crush on? Why can't it be someone like Agatha, or Penelope, at least his father would approve of Penelope. Why couldn’t he be like other boys in every way? How Simon mocks him with his flattery and joy.   
Basilton Grimm Pitch hated it at this stupid school.  
“Baz! Are you here? Or are you with your snobby friends again?” Simon shouts as he walks through the door. Baz groans, and rolls his chair to the middle of the room, looking at Simon.  
“What do you want.” Baz groaned out.  
“It’s spring break! Come into London with me? For a day?” Simon asks, hope in his voice.  
“Do I have to, simon?” Baz asks, his tone dull.  
“I’d like you to, Basilton.” Simon asks, softly baz grumbles, slipping on his blazer and shoes.  
“Fine, if I have to, and don’t call me Basilton.” Baz huffs, Simon pulling him out the door.

Baz and Simon got on a bus to London, at least Baz got a window seat.  
“Simon, why did you invite me of all people? And not your girlfriend Agatha- or Penelope? You like their company much more than mine, I know that for sure.” Baz says, playing with a loose thread on the Blazer.  
“I want to get to know you better.” Simon states simply, fiddling with his hair.  
“I see…”   
Simon glances to Baz and smiles, nervously.  
“Baz, what is your favorite color?” Simon asks. Baz snorts, shaking his head.  
“We’re doing this?”  
“Yes! What is your favorite color?”  
“Well, if you must know, it is emerald green, and scarlet red.” Baz murmurs, Simon smiling.  
“I see. Reds and greens make your eyes look wonderful.” Simons says, grinning. Baz glances to him, arching a well defined eyebrow.  
“Right..”

Simon was rambling and rattling off, Baz keeping quiet.  
“You never shut up, do you?” Baz quips, scowling.  
“No, especially when you want me to shut up.” Simon says, grinning.  
“Prat.” Baz rolls his eyes at Simon, who follows his action.  
“I think I understand why you were surprised now.” Simon mumbles, Baz chuckling.

They spent all evening and afternoon running around London, Baz begrudgingly following the boy.  
“Simon, it's almost sundown,let's find a bus…”   
“No, lets go to this candy store, I promise, it’ll be great.”  
“Fine.” Baz huffs, being dragged (literally) into a candy shop, Simon grinning like a little kid.   
“Speaking of- Simon, how do you even have money?” Baz asks, raising an eyebrow.  
“Oh, the mage gave me an allowance!” Simon grins, Baz raises both eyebrows no, in surprise.  
“Right…”   
Simon bought as much candy as he could, the two walking into the park, Simon shuffling through his bag of goodies.  
“Oh, Baz have you ever tried pop rocks and pixie sticks?” Simon asks, Baz tilting his head in confusion.  
“No, I haven't.” Baz says watching as Simon sits down, Baz following. He watches him pull out two packets, throwing one to him, which he catches with ease.  
“Try one!” Simon urges.  
“Why?”  
“It’s an Experience.'' Simon says, his lips going thin as they are pressed together in a cat-like grin.  
“...Okay, fine.” Baz says, tearing the package open and pouring the contents into his mouth, Simon watching with expectation. Baz’s face scrunches up with a scowl.  
“Simon- what the hell is this-'' Baz tries to answer as he swallows it, Baz staring at the ground, his face frozen in disgust.  
“Soooo?”  
“Simon, that was horrible! Why would anyone EVER eat something like that for enjoyment?”  
“Cause it’s fun?” Simon says, downing a pixie stick.   
“I’m questioning your ideas of fun- aren’t pixie sticks just sugar?”  
“Yeah?”  
Baz groans, rolling his eyes.  
“That’s horrifying, Simon.” Baz says, Simon pulling pocky out of the bag.  
“Simon- you bought weeb food??” Baz says, his look of horror turning into a smirk.  
“Simon...you didn’t tell me you’re a weeb…”  
“I’m not, asshat, I just think it’s neat” Simon says, opening the box and pulling one out.  
“Right..” Baz murmurs.  
“Pocky game?” Simon asks, grinning.  
“Oh no no no, now thats some weeb shit right there, I’m not going to be a part of it.” Baz says, grabbing his phone and looking through his notifications.  
“Fine, I’ll just get straight to the point.” Simon says, tapping Baz's shoulder to make him look at him.  
“What?” Baz raises a sharp eyebrow, his lips set in a firm scowl.  
“Baz, may I kiss you?” Simon asks softly,his hand keeping on his shoulder.   
Baz’s phone drops from his hand, turning his head quickly to look at Simon.  
“What did you just say?” Baz asks, staring into Simons beautiful ocean eyes.  
“Baz, I asked if I can kiss you, don’t you listen?” Simon asks, Baz staring at him for a moment before leaning over and pressing the faintest of kisses against Simon's lips, Simon chasing after his lips for only just a moment.   
“Yes, I suppose.” Baz says, his cheeks turning a faint red.  
“Now, come on, we’re going to be late for the bus back to the castle…” Baz says, just as Simon grabs Baz’s blazer, pulling him close and kisses him slowly, Baz sits back down with a light hum, his hand finding its place on Simons neck, his fingers pressing against some of the dirty blond hair on the back of his neck.  
“We could stay a little longer, I suppose.” Baz murmurs as he pulls away from Simon just for a moment, being quickly pulled back.

“Great, Simon, you wanting to snog me has gotten us unbearably late for any busses.”  
“I think it’s worth it.” Simon argues, smiling as he leans against the window of a corner market, where a bus stop is, Baz pacing.  
“You got any money for a hotel?” Baz asks, looking through his wallet.  
“No…”  
“Me neither, fuck, where are we going to sleep, now?” Baz sits on the curb, head in his hands.  
“Baz, isn’t your family house near this side of london?”  
“...yes, but it’s out in the country, it will take hours to walk there.”  
“Have someone pick us up to get to your house then, like your dad or someone?” Simon says, looking through his phone.  
“God, I do not want to be in a 35 minute car ride with my dad after snogging someone.  
“Your aunt then? You seem to gripe about her least.” Simon says, looking at Baz now.  
“True...she’s chatty though..”  
“That's fine, man.”  
Baz called up his Aunt, sighing.  
“She’ll be here soon, Simon.”  
“That's good.” Simon sits down beside Baz, sighing. Baz glanced over to Simon, sighing.  
“Once we get home, I’ll need to leave for a bit, check on the animals in the stables and stuff.  
“Okay, I could come with and help you, if you want?” Simon asks, smiling.  
“No, I uh, need to do it on my own.” Baz says, his hair covering his eyes as he looks back down at his phone.  
“Oh, alright...”   
They stayed silent until Baz’s Aunt, Fiona's car drove up to them Baz looking up at her, he needed to find something to eat, and quick, this was going to be a horrifyingly long car ride for Baz Pitch.

“So, Baz, I don’t believe that I’ve ever met any friends of yours, what’s your name kid?” Fiona asked, glancing to the back seat, Simon looking to Baz for just a moment.  
“I’m Simon, Baz’s roommate.” Simon says, Fiona humming with interest.  
“Oh really? It’s wonderful to meet you, simon.”  
“So do tell me, how did you two meet?”  
And after the floodgates opened, they didn’t stop till they were driving up the driveway.  
“Thanks, Aunt, we’re really tired so uh, night!” Baz practically ran out of the car, Simon slowly following, Fiona giving a light chuckle and shaking her head as the two boys ran into the house.  
Baz grabs Simons hand, running up the stairs and into Baz's room. It looked as if Dracula was a home decorator, and Baz's bedroom was his canvas.  
“Are you sure you are not a vampire?” Simon blurts out, a chill running up Baz's spine.  
“What?” Baz asks, turning around to look at him.  
“Nothing.” Simon looks away, being very interested in the curtains.  
“Alright, well, I’m off to go check on the animals, you can like, sleep here, I guess.” Baz quickly rushed out of the room, running down the stairs and out of the house.  
He needed food, he needed it now. He closes his eyes tight, feeling his fangs growing in sharp and unbearable. He runs into the forest, growling in a low pitch as he looks around calling a couple animals to him.

Simon snuck out the second story window, crawling down the ivy, just before he falls off of it, groaning.  
“Now where did Baz go…?” Simon mutters, running into the woods, trying to listen to see if he heard Baz.

“I can’t believe I drained both of them…” Baz says, sighing. He lays the two deers beside the roots of a tree.  
“Baz? Is that you?” Simon says, walking into the opening, Baz looking up at him, eyes wide and blood dripping down his lips.  
Baz grimaces, pulling out his wand and not looking at simon.  
“Don’t look at me! Begone, Thot!” Simon tried to walk towards him, before being thrown far from the clearing, giving enough time to Baz to wipe off the blood, and hide the deer, walking to Simon, his fangs shrinking back into his gums.  
“Simon?”  
“Ugh, yeah?” Simon sits up, getting sticks out of his hair.  
“Sorry for that…” He gently pulls Simon up, Simon stumbling into his chest.  
“Uh...no worries, why did you though, were you like naked or something?” Simon asks, grinning. Baz laughs.  
“No no no I was...eating…?” Baz says slowly.  
“Eating?”  
“Yeah...I don’t like to eat in front of people.”  
Simon raises an eyebrow.  
“You eat in front of people daily. Are you like an actual vampire or something?” Simon smiles, so close to Baz he could feel the huff of air from Baz’s mouth.  
“Hey, may I kiss you, handsome vampire in the woods?” Simon says, giggling.  
“Yeah, you may.” Baz says, pulling Simon closer, kissing him slowly, grinning. Baz not particularly caring is his mouth tasted of blood.  
“As uh...twilight it is to kiss you in the woods, want to go back to your room, I think that’d be a much more comfortable place, don’t you think?” Simon says, grinning like a cat, Baz rolling his eyes. He pulls away from Simon, beckoning him to follow as he walks back to the house, Simon following quickly. Tonight was going to be….different.


End file.
